CNN – It’s Complicated: Changing Your Facebook Status


She loves me, she loves me not. These days you don’t need to sit and wonder. Instead, look at his or her facebook relationship status update and you’ll know where you stand on the digital totem pole as it relates to matters of the heart.

“What happens when a mobile society meets relationship disasters?” In this interview on, I shared some of the Rules of Netiquette on what to do when your relationship implodes. The article hit many digital nerves and has been shared over 350 times on Facebook.

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Netiquette and relationship expert Julie Spira has the same perspective regarding micro-blogging forum Twitter: Trust is key.

“If you trust your partner offline, you should as well online,” said Spira, author of “The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Manners on the Web.”

“If you’re not dating exclusively, I suggest taking a digital pass on following him or her. He might say he’s at home sick for the evening, while you’re gazing at his latest rendezvous in a TwitPic photo. When in doubt, don’t. It’s not worth a digital fight.”

And if you’re just an innocent bystander who wants to console your newly single friend, Spira said the polite thing to do is respect their privacy.

“Showing you care can be appreciated,” she said, “but people feel uncomfortable when there’s a breakup involved.”

If you’re the newly single friend, Spira suggests exercising your executive veto power over posts from those well-meaning bystanders.

“Any comments on your status change on Facebook that make you feel bad or sad should be deleted from your feed. It’s best to send the commenter a private message on Facebook and let them know why you deleted their comment,” Spira advised. “After all, you do want to have supportive friends, both online and offline.

“We’re developing relationships online and connecting with people from our past,” she said. “Our social media friends become our digital cheerleaders, which I believe is a good thing — in moderation.”

Have you had a digital breakup on Facebook? Your comments are welcome and always appreciated. If you get a moment, do like us at

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